I was going to wait until fall to make any kind of announcement. We...they... didn’t need any more distractions or reminders of how pathetic the year had gone. I had been mulling it over for several months now, even before our trip to Florida. In the backyard chugging a beer, in church when I should’ve been listening, in the shower and in the car I thought about it. I can’t tell you the last movie I watched where I could actually tell you what happened. This decision was at the forefront of my mind from sunup to sundown.
My heart is still into it, but the guys need a fresh face...new ideas. I admit, I don’t have the gusto I had back ten years ago. Heck, I even had tons of energy last year. But I hate to admit it, the off-season reports got the best of me...at least for awhile. Accusations of mismanagement and inappropriate rituals while on the clock. Finger-pointing...at me! By players and the press. It was time to walk away. Time to find something somewhere else. I considered the possibility of moving to another section of the business, something other than management, but that consideration didn’t last long. When telling my wife, June, I acted enthusiastic, but she, as always saw right through me. “Really, Benn? Are you sure?”
“Not at all,” I said. The passion was no longer there. I’d stick it out a few more months, enduring the wrath of the press, while enjoying the core unit that I’ve come to admire and respect. It still makes me feel young. Trouble is, I’m not young. Far from it feels like.
I decide to make a call. I don’t make a habit of talking on the phone when in the car, but it should be a quick one. The light is red anyway.
“Nate! I need you there an hour early today. Jackson’s hammy is acting up. I’m starting you at third.” Nate was a spring sensation, but hadn’t had many starts. This would be his first at the hot corner.
“Okay, coach! I’m actually already here.”
Rookie of the Year that kid. I just need to find more playing time for him.
The 450 million dollar park was now in sight. Gosh! Such a beautiful park! It was like going on vacation every day from April to...hopefully October. I parked in my reserved space and headed to the locker room.