Do You Understand the Words Coming Out of My Mouth?

Slice of Life: Day 23 

*With some exaggeration, but not as much as you'd think.

As much as I search for a topic for my daily slice, I’m surprised sometimes it takes me as long as it does. I mean, life with third-graders is never dull. Yesterday it was a puddle of pee in the classroom’s bathroom. To add to the fun, a child stood on a toilet and, for what I can only guess, was trying to get in touch with their inner orangutan, concluded his act by swinging from stall wall to stall wall. His performance was so fluid and graceful it made me wonder how we can’t go one day without them bumping their heads on the playground equipment, or go ten minutes without their pencil boxes crashing and exploding to the floor?

But there I was, the eleventh hour – or at least it felt like it – driving home still searching for my slice of life. I have been listening to Janet Burroway’s, Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft, and in her section about revising, she quoted Andre Gide, a French author and recipient of the Nobel Prize for literature. He said, “Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But since no one was listening, everything must be said again.”

And a chorus of angels in their heavenly glow said, “Fear not. For this is your slice for which you have been seeking.”

It wasn’t quite that dramatic, but what a quote, right? I mean, what teacher and/or parent cannot relate to this? I think every teacher needs to have that on their tombstone or engraved on their urn. I feel I spend my whole day refraining from making the worse Jackie Chan impression and yelling, “Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?”

I don’t think they do. It never fails. I’ll say, “Do this, then do that. When you’re finished, do this.”

Clear. As. A. Bell.

From the back, a hand goes up as if everything that was just spoken, all the words I know exited my mouth, was only in my head.

“No hands. Everything you need to know, I just told you.”

Like a contagious disease, hands from all corners of the room rise above their cute little heads. Jackie Chan is about to do an alien-burst through my gut.

Them: Can we do (this or that) when we’re finished?”

Me: Was it on my list of what you can do?

Them (every time): No, but, can we…

Me: Everything you need to know has been said, repeated, rephrased and restated.

Them: Mr. Graybill?

Me (wishing my name was Booger-Butt, so I would get some amusement from hearing my name 764 times a day.): Yeees?

Them: Should we start now?

Me: Yes, you should have already started.

Them (raising their hand): But…

Me: Please get started

Them (with a mixture of anguish, confusion and frustration on their faces): Are you going to pass out the papers?

Me (sheepish and humbled): I guess that would help, wouldn’t it.

:/